Jak jsme napálili „skrblíka“ na soustředění v JAR
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7. 12. 2019
Když si chlap připadá jako bůh
15. 12. 2019
Jak jsme napálili „skrblíka“ na soustředění v JAR
V roce 2003 jsem odjel do Jihoafrické republiky, do Potchefstroomu, na tříměsíční triatlonové (plavání–kolo–běh) soustředění. Využil jsem příležitosti poznat tamní univerzitní život a připravit se v teple na závodní sezónu. Během pobytu v JAR jsem poznal mnoho špičkových atletů z celého světa.
Soustředění mně daly mnoho nesportovních příhod, které se zrodily z nudy, která na nich občas panovala. Když denně trénujete šest hodin, máte osmnáct hodin volného času, které je potřeba, nějak vyplnit a přitom odpočívat, aby tělo regenerovalo na další trénink. A tak se vymýšlely různé „bejkárny“ pro pobavení.
Můj pobyt v JAR začal jako jedno vtipné dobrodružství už v Čechách. Odlétal jsem dvacátého ledna z Prahy. Letěl jsem přes Amsterdam do Johannesburgu. Den předem jsem si zkontroloval čas odletu a domluvil se svým tátou, v kolik hodin mě poveze autem na letiště. Odlet jsem měl v osm čtyřicet, takže odjezd lehce po šesté z Plzně byl tak akorát. Cesta na letiště trvala v tuto ranní dobu do padesáti minut.
Ráno jsme s tátou vstali někdy po půl šesté. V klidu se nasnídali a šli nakládat věci do auta. Vezl jsem sebou obrovskou krabici s kolem, ve které jsem měl spoustu dalších věcí. Vážila okolo třiceti kilo. Oblečení jsem měl sbalené v loďáku, který vážil výrazně přes dvacet kilo a k tomu příruční zavazadlo, které mně trhalo rameno, jak bylo těžké. Když jsme zabouchli kufr auta a nasedali s dobrým pocitem, jak se to tam vše v pohodě vešlo, mě napadlo, ještě jednou pro jistotu zkontrolovat, zdali mám letenky a pas. Letmým pohledem jsem přejel i čas odletu a v tu chvíli jsem pochopil, že je něco špatně. Dodnes si nedokáži vysvětlit, jak jsem to původně kontroloval, ale osm čtyřicet byl čas příletu do Amsterdamu, a ne čas odletu z Prahy. Ten byl v sedm deset.
V tu chvíli se mě zmocnila panika. Byl jsem už dost vystresovaný, že letím sám na tři měsíce, ani pořádně nevím kam, a pak tohle. Škoda, že mě tenkrát někdo nezměřil hladinu stresu. Bylo šest hodin a osm minut, když jsme za sebou práskli dveřmi a vyrazili směr letiště. Tehdy se dalo odbavit i dvacet minut před odletem, takže při troše štěstí a cihle na pedálu se to dalo stihnout. Pamatuji si, že bylo kolem nuly a lehce mrholilo. Tlačil jsem na tátu, aby jel co nejrychleji. Moc rychle se mu ale na namrzající silnici jet nechtělo. Říkal něco jako, že se nechce zabít, když jsem „blbej“ a neumím si přečíst čas odletu. „Nechápu.“
Na letišti v Ruzyni, dnes Václava Havla, jsme byli za deset minut sedm. Vlétl jsem do odletové haly a hledal přepážku, kde se odbavoval můj let. U ní stála fronta několik desítek lidí a na tabuli stálo: „Let odložen na osm hodin.“ Bylo neuvěřitelné, jaké jsem měl štěstí. Poslední nástraha před odletem bylo samotné odbavení. Měl jsem letenku, ve které byly dvě zavazadla do váhy dvaceti kil. To byly tenkrát zlaté časy. I tak jsem měl ale přes patnáct kil nadváhy, a to se mně platit nechtělo. Většinou mně to sice jako sportovci prošlo. Nic méně riskovat, jsem to nechtěl. Dal jsem krabici s kolem na váhu a nohou ji zespodu nadzvedával, tak aby měla pod dvacet kil, a přitom se jako by nic bavil s paní, která mě odbavovala. Stejné jsem udělal i s kufrem a mohl vyrazit směr Afrika.
Na letišti v Johannesburgu mě měl vyzvednout někdo z ubytovacího centra a odvést do Potchefstroomu. Po dvaceti hodinách cestování jsem vycházel z příletové haly a hledal někoho s cedulí, kde uvidím svoje jméno. Stála tam mladá dvojice, která mávala transparentem s nápisem Petr. Měl jsem radost, že odvoz mám vyřešený a těšil se, jak se vyspím až dorazíme na místo. Zarazilo mě, když jsem uviděl výraz, který na sebe udělali při pohledu na má zavazadla. Ihned jsem se zeptal, jestli je to v pohodě, že mám tak velkou krabici. Pokrčili rameny, usmáli se a slovy, že to nějak půjde, jsme vyrazili k parkovišti. Když jsme přišli k autu, musel jsem se smát. Čekala na mě místní verze Toyoty Yaris. Byla asi o dvacet centimetrů delší, a to mě zachránilo. Sklopili jsme zadní sedačky a strčili dovnitř krabici s kolem, která přesahovala až nad přední sedadla. Loďák jsme dali pod ní a já si vlezl, kde zbylo místo. Cesta trvala přes dvě hodiny. Ležel jsem zkroucený někde na zemi auta mezi kufrem a krabicí. Venku bylo přes třicet pět stupňů, auto nemělo klimatizaci a já ani neviděl ven. Byla to jízda snů. Po příjezdu do „Sports Lodge“, kde jsem byl ubytovaný, jsem za transfer zaplatil s díky přes dva tisíce a mohl se jít po celém dni cestování vyspat. Moje africká mise začala.
Hned druhý den jsem se seznámil v cyklistickém krámu s místním triatlonistou Hendrikem (později vyhrál závod světového poháru a stal se velmi úspěšným triatlonistou), který mě v dalších třech týdnech ukázal univerzitní život v Potchefstroomu se vším všudy. Výhodou bylo, že Hednrik byl místní celebritou a se všemi se znal. První dva týdny jsem chodil denně na party, kde mě se všemi seznámil. Pravidelně to chodilo tak, že Hendrik postavil všechny lidi do řady a nechal mě, abych se se všemi seznámil. Byla to místní tradice. Pro mě bylo nemožné, abych si najednou zapamatoval pět jmen, natož pak třeba dvacet. Mělo to ale svoji výhodu. Kam jsem přišel, někoho jsem znal. Byl jsem pro ně afrikánsky Peterkie. Tři týdny po mém příjezdu za mnou přijela moje kamarádka Lenka, se kterou jsem trénoval velkou část zbytku pobytu a zažili společně neuvěřitelné akce.
Měl jsem to štěstí a potkal se v Potchefstroomu s Honzou Železným (v tu dobu už trojnásobný olympijský vítěz v hodu oštěpem), začínající oštěpařkou Bárou Špotákovou a s běžci Martinem a Kubou (záměrně jsem zvolil jiná jména). Chodili jsme společně dvakrát v týdnu na večeři. K tomu něco popili a užívali místní pohody. Pravidelně se stávalo, že Martin těsně před placením odešel a účet za sebe nezaplatil. Dělal jako že nic. Naštěstí pro nás ostatní, to pokaždé celé zaplatil Honza Železný, takže jsme to nikdo extra neřešili. Honza to bral jako samozřejmost. Prostě odešel, za všechny zaplatil a nic neřekl. Ještě nám, co jsme zůstali déle, většinou obsluha vracela peníze na zpět. Pár krát jsme zvažovali, jestli to dýško, které zbylo, není zbytečně velké a neměli bychom si ho nechat.
Když Martin ale zmizel před placením jako pára nad hrncem po několikáté, tak už nás to začalo všechny z principu štvát. Během jedné večeře po tom, co se Martin opět vypařil bez zaplacení, se zrodil ďábelský plán. Jak napálit skrblíka. Už jenom vymýšlení plánu byla obrovská zábava. Jak se jeden nápad nabaloval na druhý. Fascinující bylo, jak se z jednoduché myšlenky stal konspirační plán, který jsme jako skupina spiklenců dotáhli do grande finále.
Všichni jsme v rámci tréninku chodili do Virgin Activ, což byl klub, kde byla posilovna s bazénem. Každý z nás měl zaplacené členství a díky tomu kartičku na neomezený vstup, kterou si pípnul a prošel turniketem dovnitř. Vstupní karta byla na konkrétní jméno.
V té době běžela v tomto klubu soutěž o milióntého návštěvníka, který měl získat prémii ve výši milion randů, což bylo okolo dvou a půl milionu korun. Tenkrát šel za tyhle peníze koupit nový barák. Nápad byl na světě. Narafičit na Martina, aby on byl „jako“ tím miliontým návštěvníkem. Jakmile se začne radovat a machrovat, že vyhrál, tak mu řekneme, že se jedná o apríl. Myšlenka vznikla jako vtip pro pobavení. A najednou jsme o tom začali přemýšlet, jak to zrealizovat. Vymysleli jsme dokonalý plán.
Já jsem díky kontaktům z univerzity od Hendrika znal spoustu místních lidí a mezi nimi i manažera sportovního centra Virgin Activ. S ním jsme se domluvili, že v neděli (prvního dubna) ve čtyři hodiny přijdou Martin s Kubou do posilovny na trénink. Jakmile Martin projde turniketem, tak tam přiběhne on jako manažer centra a pogratuluje mu k výhře milion randů a předá mu metrovou maketu šeku na danou částku. Kuba se měl někde chvilku zdržet. Odskočit si na záchod, aby u toho přímo nebyl, ale zároveň, aby prošel turniketem těsně za Martinem.
V té nejďábelštější verzi byl Honza Železný ochotný poskytnout potřebnou hotovost. Martin by dostal reálné peníze do ruky a v tom by přišla pointa této verze vtípku. Manažer centra by po chvilce Martinovi oznámil, že došlo k chybě a milióntým návštěvníkem byl Kuba, který šel těsně za ním a peníze musí předat jemu. Ta představa, jak by se Martin tvářil v okamžiku, kdy mu berou peníze, a ještě je dávají Kubovi, což byl jeho hlavní sportovní rival, nás extrémně bavila. Nakonec jsme ale zvolili jednodušší verzi na provedení.
Chtěli jsme, aby proběhlo předání šeku s výhrou, a až za námi Martin přiběhne chlubící se, že vyhrál, tak mu řekneme krutou pravdu: „Byl to apríl.“
Realita byla nakonec trochu jiná. Tu osudnou neděli jsme netrpělivě čekali na čtvrtou hodinu a těšili se, co přijde. A ono se nestalo nic. Od čtyř jsme si psali, volali, jestli už to prasklo nebo co se děje, ale pořád nic. Na sedmou hodinu jsme byli domluveni na společné večeři, kde jsme předpokládali, že to na nás Martin konečně vybalí. Martin přišel jakoby nic. Normálně si s námi povídal, ale o výhře ani slovo. Nechápavě jsme na sebe koukali a přemýšleli, jestli nás nakonec nepřevezl on. Když ale dopil třetí pivo a začal být příjemně uvolněný, tak to z něj vypadlo: „Objednal jsem letenky pro celou rodinu, aby za mnou přijeli. Vyhrál jsem totiž dnes milion randů.“ My jsme propukli v hurónský smích, když jsme mu řekli, že nic nevyhrál. Jenomže Martin ty letenky opravdu objednal. V tu chvíli by se v nás krve nedořezal.
Naštěstí šly stornovat, takže to nemělo žádnou finanční dohru. Ale do dneška, když Martina potkám, se na mě tváří „trochu“ kysele.
Touto cestou chci na dálku poděkovat manažerovi tamního centra, že do toho s námi šel. Mohl přijít o zaměstnání. Ale stálo to za to. Díky.
Historku jsem popsal, jak si ji pamatuji. Ale je možné, že nějaký detail byl malinko jinak. Záměrně jsem použil smyšlená jména. Přeci jen, už je to pár let a nerad bych jitřil staré rány. Pravdu zná jen pár vyvolených.
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